Frantic Dreams and Bollywood Babes

Wednesday 14th May 2008

So, with only a few days left I’ve been frantically rushing about trying to get everything done – and there is SO much to do!

My constant mental lists seem to get endlessly longer and longer, while my subconscious seems determined to get in the way! I’ve been having lots of restless nights, filled with intensely vivid dreams and bizarre quacks from the neighbour’s new ducks! I’ve been waking up suddenly three or four times a night with new things to add to my list, and it’s almost becoming amusing.

Last night went something like this:

A bomb went off? Where? It’s my fault? But I,…. oh yes, I suppose it is, but what about….oh, we’re running away, faster and faster but going uphill, and there’s my old school, how odd.
Mmphh, hmm? (wakes up) Oh, god, I must book my train ticket tomorrow, it’s already fully booked for the 26th and I’ll miss my flight otherwise……..zzzzzzzzzzz
Going to meet my friend, who seems to be in jail. No idea why, but there is a weird man laughing like a hysterical maniac in the corner of the cell, mwah hah ha ha, wha ha ha ha……
Whaack whaack Quack – Did I post my souvenirs home already? Must buy a bicycle lock tomorrow. But I don’t have a bicycle. Why is that weird man still laughing outside?
Oh yeah, the ducks…… zzzzzzz
Now I’m in a car park but there are no cars and only watermelons hanging from the trees……No wait, they’re bats,……..why are they quacking?……
Shit, must pack up my orange lampshade and that dress…….I’ll need to find a bigger box first,……and I have to take photos of the new children soon……… zzzzzzzzzz
etc etc.

It was actually quite funny this morning, until I realised that for the 8th day running I seem to have dysentery. Or something equally boring and nasty.

Anyhoo, bowels aside, so far I’ve managed to pack up most of my stuff, post some boxes home, buy some going-away gifts for Aamaa and Priya and the kids and I’ve made a start on the next newsletter. We’re planning a party on Monday when I leave, so there’s lots to do for that, and I still have a dress to collect from the tailors etc.

Also, in amongst all this madness, it appears that I really am going to be appearing in a music video! Sounds like a weirder aspect of my dreams, but this one’s actually real. We’ve met with the singer and director twice now, and they want to shoot it on Friday and Saturday (which explains my mad dreams as I have even less time to get everything done)! In return for Karla’s and my services, they’d like to give the orphanage 10,000 rupees, (about 80 quid) which is pretty generous, and they’ve also offered to give us 25% of the proceeds of their cd sales.

Apparently it’ll be shot in the Hyatt hotel bar, there will be some dancing involved (much to my horror) and despite explaining to them several times that I can’t dance at all, they all seem convinced that it’ll all be just fine. We had thought that Karla and I were both going to be in it, but we discovered last night that actually they’re doing two videos, and they want me in one and her in the other – so I’ll be all by myself!

It seems there will be some professional dancers too (who will no doubt make me look even more uncoordinated!) but they’ll be in the background, and I’ll be dancing with Aziz – the singer, in the center! Pretty much no chance of hiding in the background then, and the director says not to worry about the dancing, – I can just do a few simple steps and they can cut it together to make it look more fancy later, but somehow I doubt it’ll work!
He also wants me to do some ‘acting’, but mostly of a facial expression nature – I think they want me to sit at the bar and gaze adoringly at the singer or something to that effect.

It’s funny, as when I first got the email from this guy, saying he wanted ‘models’ to be in a ‘video’, I was incredibly dubious about being filmed at all. I had horrible images that I’d get back home and be six months into my new career before I found out that the reason all the men in the office keep sniggering when I walk past is because one of them saw me in a dodgy “Bollywood Babes” porn movie!

However, having now clearly discussed and laid down boundaries on costumes/clothing, I’m much more concerned that my poor attempts at dancing will end up on the Nepali version of Candid Camera!

So, all rather bizarre, and I’m getting a bit nervous, but I have the odd sense that my life, like my dreams, is being punctuated with loud quacks. Seriously, it’s like I’ve landed in a weird movie – either that or someone up there has a bizarre sense of humour and is really enjoying watching me go through some very odd motions!
Still, I managed to get lots of errands done today, including booking my train ticket, and buying a bicycle lock, so I feel a bit calmer, although I suspect my dreams tonight will be full of dancing ducks quacking the can-can while men in suits hover at the water-cooler daring each other to ask me if I really am that girl from that movie!

Ah well, another bizarre week in the life of Maya (I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried!).

tons of love
“No I am not a porn star, but thank you for asking” Maya

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