Rollercoaster

Well this has been quite a week. I should point out before we start that I’m an emotional being, and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve so my emotions are often BIG, whatever they are.

Monday was filled with immense joy, because I ADORE my pottery classes and all my mugs came out perfectly for once and it was so wonderful and fun that I came home bouncing around the house trying to sprinkle my flatmate with all my excess pottery joy. (A separate mug post will probably be imminent because I’ve very proud and I love my mugs…)

Tuesday I woke up feeling queasy, then threw up, and then continued to throw up for about 6 hours or so. But by afternoon I was feeling much better, so whatever it was, it arrived fast and left just as quickly. It was a strange and unexpected but thankfully brief interlude of unwellness.

Wednesday I felt fine again. Perfectly normal day all round.

Thursday started off ok, then a sense of impending doom overwhelmed me and I spent the afternoon weeping sporadically while descending into a pretty epic panic spiral, which only I can truly pull off with flair. But my friends and colleagues cheered me up and by the end of the day there was wine and skittles so it was all ok in the end.

Friday has so far been extremely average and now I’m quite tired after an exhausting week of emotional drama, but looking forward to some fun and hanging out with some fab people this weekend and basically not thinking about any of it!

I’ve done a handy chart for your reference:

Continue reading

The weird and wonderful mind of Maya

Here’s a little insight into how my incredibly odd brain works:

Earlier today I was looking around schools, and suddenly noticed my finger was bleeding. I’d obviously caught it on something without noticing, grazing my knuckle, and hadn’t noticed, and now I was bleeding lightly while chatting to the school administrator. It was all very minor so I continued on, going about my day, without giving it much thought. I frequently bash myself, walk into things, catch my fingers, and often have random small cuts and bruises that appear here and there on my body.

But then later in the afternoon, I got back from the shops, unloaded all my shopping, popped to the neighbours to collect a parcel, and suddenly noticed a sharp pain in my foot.

It was a stinging sort of pain, like a nettle, and I was shocked to discover a large blueish lump appearing on the top of my foot, about the size of my thumb. I couldn’t remember bashing it on anything, and it had clearly just happened, as the lump was very sore and getting noticeably larger.

Rather than assume that I’d just bashed it and not noticed, as I frequently do, and in spite of the fact I had literally done the same thing earlier in the day with my finger, I immediately assumed that a tropical spider had crawled out of my shopping and bitten me.

That’s how insane my mind is.

There was no other logical explanation – I’d done nothing except unload some shopping bags, and suddenly there was a very painful, stinging lump on my foot, with no other possible explanation. I’ve read about it happening every once in a while, where some dangerous spider crawls out of your fruit and bites you.

I was literally thinking through my plan (in case you’re interested, the plan was to find my phone, get ready to dial 999 if my foot turned blue or my throat closed up or something).

Then after poking my weird swollen lump for a bit, I decided it must be a bruise, I’d clearly knocked it hard against something and somehow not noticed, and so I ignored it and carried on with my day. The swelling went down and left me with a faint purpley bruise and a mildly sore foot for the rest of the day, which remains an intriguing mystery.

Thought you’d all like to know that these are the things that go on inside my head on a fairly regular basis. Massive paranoia and jumping to extreme conclusions about unexplained minor occurrences.

Here is the weird swollen blue lump when I first noticed it, and assumed it was a radioactive spider bite:

And here is the bruise that appeared a bit later in the day:

I’m still waiting for my superpowers to kick in….

2018 Book Challenge

I enjoyed last year’s book challenge so much, and it really re-invigorated my love of reading, so I have decided to do it all again this year!

Last year I managed a total of 45 books (including some non-challenge entries) and I’m not sure whether or not I’ll achieve the same this year, but who knows?

The official list my dad and I are using is here, and I’ll be adding to this list as I go along. Continue reading

Feminist Economics

Notwithstanding the fact that I’ve become increasing firm in my feminist views of late, this excellent article from the Economist highlights how women have been traditionally subjugated in the way we think about economics – even down to the ways we calculate GDP…

What would the world look like if women’s contributions to things such as unpaid care work were counted equally against paid labour? Which countries would have the highest GDP then I wonder?

The radicalisation of Maya continues – First I became a total convert to my local Green party, then I became a massive and vocal supporter of my worker’s union (UNITE THE UNION!), then I went to Cuba and became a pseudo-socialist, and now I think we may need a radical feminist overhaul of our economic processes….

Where does it all end?

 

May 30th – Additional!

Just also found this linked but equally interesting little article about how advancing women’s equality could add $12 trilliion to global growth!

Homestudy

So here’s the thing.

Homestudies are hard work.

I mean, they have to be, because ultimately, the social workers have a finite period of time to figure out whether or not you are a suitable person to care for a child, and at the end of this process a child’s life is at stake. So they have to be SURE. And they have to be thorough.

But that doesn’t make it easy.

In fact, parts of it are pretty excruciating.

Imagine a total stranger coming to your home, and digging deep into your childhood, your formative moments, your most traumatic moments, the things that made you who you are today. Then imagine that same person plucking out all of your flaws with a pair of tweezers, picking over them, discussing them in excruciating detail, and trying to find weak points, and reasons why you might turn out to be a crappy parent.

It’s a little nerve-wracking.

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Level up…

Well, it took 4 months instead of 2 months, but I have finally finished Stage 1 of the adoption process! I received my official letter, (it was back in March, but I’ve been busy) and have said goodbye to my Stage 1 social worker and met my new Stage 2 social worker.

My new social worker is nice, but very no-nonsense. She’s extremely experienced, and clearly doesn’t waste any time. She was a little bit scary and intimidating, but obviously keen to crack on with things, and so we had a planning meeting to put lots of dates in the diary when we could meet. Usually in Stage 2 you would have 8 meetings over 4 months (roughly once every 2 weeks) but she said as I’m a single adopter we probably won’t need that many meetings, so we have scheduled 6 for now, from now until the end of June.

During that time I have some homework to do, some financial info to pull together, and various other bits and bobs to do. After the last meeting, we will have around 4-6 weeks for her to write up the report, for me to have a chance to review it and make any comments, and then it will be submitted to the Adoption Panel, which sits approx 3 times a month.

My new social worker has even proposed a possible date for me to go to the panel in late July, though this hasn’t been confirmed yet.

All very exciting, and things are getting a bit real now!

They have also told me that they have never approved a single adopter for siblings before, and it is very unlikely that would be possible, so I am most likely to be matched with a single child, which is fine with me. So finally moving up to the next stage!

Watch this space for more news on the parent front!