When I started writing this, I wasn’t intending to post it, just to write down my thoughts as a way of untangling them, but as I’ve gone along I decided it was worth sharing, so here we are.
I recently bumped up against my own prejudice, which is something we are rarely aware of or conscious of – no-one likes to think of themselves as being prejudiced do they? We all like to think that’s something that happens to other people, because we are far too woke and liberal and enlightened to have any prejudices. And yet we do. We all have them. Continue reading
So, after my social worker suggested that it might be time for me to move on and start looking at some other children again, she suggested I attend an activity day, and see if anything clicked.
Activity days are organised by a local authority and are an opportunity for potential adopters to engage with the children that are up for adoption, to meet their foster carers and talk about them, and see if any connection is there. From the children’s perspective, it is a really fun day out, usually at a special activity centre with an adventure playground, soft play, lots of toys, face-painting and an entertainer who does balloon animals or magic tricks and that sort of thing. The kids are there with their foster carers and also their social workers, so there are lots of adults that they know and feel safe with. The babies generally don’t really understand much about the day, and just play with the toys, while the older children have had some explanation, so they know that potential adopters are coming to the day, but that none of them are specifically linked to any child. The kid’s expectations are managed so they know it’s not about “picking children” and no one will go home feeling rejected. Continue reading
A bit more of an update on the adoption news… I have been a little cautious in considering what to post here from now on, as one day my child might want to read about my adoption journey, and there is a fine line between wanting to share my experiences as openly and honestly as possible, and wanting to ensure I don’t post anything that might have an impact on my future child.
After turning down my first potential match, I expressed interest in another little boy, the one that I had first seen that I felt a bit of a connection with. I sent them a message, briefly outlining why I think I would be a good parent for him, and waited.
And waited. Continue reading
I have finally, after many years of wishing, given my kitchen a much-needed makeover. I have now done up pretty much every other room in the house and the kitchen was the last one to do.
Here are the pics of my kitchen before (I had previously tried to paint the top cupboards a yellowy-cream but it looked awful!) Continue reading
Whenever anyone says “No offence, but”, they are almost certainly about to offend you. Continue reading
Well it’s been a rough few weeks.
This year feels like it has been pretty brutal quite honestly. Sometimes adulting is really hard. Continue reading
This is a hard one to write, and I almost didn’t post this, but decided that if I’m going to document my adoption journey, then it’s helpful to others if I include as much of it as I can.
After exploring my potential match a bit more, I decided not to pursue it any further. It was an impossibly hard decision, and I had to call up friends, family and colleagues to talk it over again and again. I am someone who needs to talk through things out loud to sort things out in my head – I do my thinking out loud, and I need to bounce ideas off other people to help me form opinions and consolidate my feelings.
In other news, work has been busy busy busy as I transition into my new role, and try to wrap up various projects in my current role.
Here’s a few little snippets of what else has been going on in the life of Maya in the last few months, via my facebook posts! Continue reading
So, it’s all a little scary, and exciting, and daunting, and exhilirating, and terrifying. In a nutshell.
There is a little boy they suggested putting my name forward for, but the social worker wasn’t terribly enthused about whether or not it was a match – she seemed a bit vague, like she wasn’t really sure. She also said there will be quite a few other adopters so I might not get picked, and seemed to clearly want to manage my expectations that it may not come to anything.
So, on her recommendation, they put my name forward, and after waiting for a few weeks and hearing nothing, I had resigned myself to the idea that I probably won’t be matched until after Christmas.
But then they contacted me, and said that they were going to send me his full report to read and think about. I had a look through it, and then set up a meeting with my social worker, who told me that both his social worker and the family finder thought it was a good match, and they have picked me over all the other potential adopters!
So I’m now waiting to meet with the other social worker and family finder, and explore if this is the right match for me! Not too clear on the timeframe yet, but my lodger has just moved out, and I have got the bedroom all ready, and started buying a few toys and books and things. I have even started an amazon wish list, and am planning to ask my family this year to get me something for my kid this year for Christmas instead of something for me.
So it’s exciting! Watch this space….