Well, we’ve decided to attempt potty training….
This is something I had not realised everyone and his dog has an opinion on. It’s really hard to navigate when you are a first-time parent and you hear these type of comments ALL THE TIME…
- “Oh god it was horrendous, one of the worst things we’ve ever had to do”
- “Isn’t she potty trained already? Shouldn’t you be doing it now?”
- “Just wait til they are ready, then they just do it by themselves, and it’s easy”
- “Most of the other kids her age are already potty-trained…”
- “With boys it’s so much easier”
- “Oh you don’t need to read any books about it, they don’t need to be “TRAINED” – when they are ready they’ll just know how to do it and you won’t have to do anything”
- “Good luck – that was the hardest 6 months of my bloody life”
- “No but really, when are you potty-training her?”
- “Don’t rush it, I see so many parents trying to do it before their kids are ready, and it takes ages”
- “Don’t bother about all that – just let them run around naked for a while and accept that there will be piss and shit all over everything”
- “Seriously though, when ARE you going to potty-train her?”
- “My kids were potty-trained at 18 months….”
- “My kids weren’t potty-trained til they were 3 or 4”
- “My kid learned in 2 days and it was easy”
- “My kid took 7 months to learn and it was hell”
- “If you’re having to read a book about it, or ask for advice then she’s probably not ready yet, and you should wait”
and so on…. Continue reading
Ok, so recently I’ve decided to play around with my hair and see if I can follow the “Curly Girl” method, and see how curly I can get my hair to go naturally.
Now this is mainly due to the fact that I am still, after 11 months, trying to learn the best way to manage my mixed-race daughter’s amazing luscious curly hair. It has grown an awful lot in that time, and gotten so much thicker and longer. I didn’t want to just experiment on a two-year old with all these new methods and thought I would experiment on myself as well just to see what happens.
Given the current events worldwise in support of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, I wanted to explain a bit more about why and how my curly hair journey is so interlinked with discussions on race happening around the globe. It sounds ludicrous to put those two things together, but hear me out. Continue reading
Both myself and my daughter have had a fairly seismic shift this week, as we go from 10 weeks locked down together and not really seeing anyone or doing much of anything, to suddenly the kid being at nursery, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and me going back to work. Continue reading
In amongst all the grim lockdown drama, here are a few more little snippets of things that have happened over the last few months, odd little anecdotes from our lives. Spoiler alert – these are mostly boring stories about some adorable thing my precious baby girl did – I’m aware that when most parents get in the zone droning on about their little darlings, most people reach for the sick bag or nod politely while fantasising about pulling the fire alarm to make it stop. In other words, these anecdotes will be mediocre at best, and you have been warned – read on at your own risk.
Here they are, in no particular order:
Even though the Adoption Order was granted on the 7th January, when everything was formally made legal and official, there have still been quite a few minor admin things to do.
We needed to wait for the court bureaucratic wheels to slowly turn and issue various bits of paperwork so that she can be entered officially into the Register of Adopted Children, which once completed means that you can apply for an Adoption Certificate (which is very similar but slightly different from a birth certificate). This document has her new legally changed name on it, which you need to supply in order to do other official things, like apply for a passport, or change her name on other official things like the NHS/Dr’s surgery records, and her child benefits account, etc.
i have now received this, she now legally and officially has my last name/family name, and I have already applied for a passport so that we can hopefully go to Australia soon and visit my brother and dad and the rest of our family can meet my daughter! Continue reading
Recently we had a really bad day. I started writing it all down in excruciating detail before remembering that I’m an incredibly boring mum now and have nothing interesting to say nowadays apart from the minutiae of our tiny little lives and not many people actually care. So I decided (for once) to edit myself.
In a nutshell, I made the wrong choice as a parent, I did something which I thought would be ok and things went wrong, and it was upsetting for both of us and led to an extreme amount of mum-guilt and tears all round.
Suffice to say I have now made more work for myself and also learned a valuable lesson.
Basically that’s all you need to know – I felt really crappy and beat myself up about it but it’s all fine now and I suppose parenting is all one massive learning curve so occasionally you will get things wrong. It’s inevitable, and it’s hard not to feel crushed by guilt when it does, but all you can do is have a good cry, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try to do better next time.
Last week I had my first full day away from my daughter after spending 5 months together pretty much every minute of every day.
It was HARD.
The organisation I work for has an annual big conference that brings together the movers and shakers working in my specialised sector and it’s a very popular and interesting event. It goes all week, but I had discussed with my boss the idea of using one of my “Keeping in touch” days to attend, as a way to check in and see people and get back in touch with what’s going on in my line of work while on maternity/adoption leave. Continue reading
Well here are a few more snippets into the minutiae of our daily lives at the moment – a few little things that make me laugh or just reflect life with a toddler!
As she has a birthday quite near to Christmas, there has recently been a flurry of packages arriving in the post of things that I don’t necessarily want her to see… So I have been handing her the giant bubble packets of air to pop while I squirrel away whatever was in the box, and then show her the empty box. This seems to be working, but she now thinks we are just ordering tons of empty boxes full of bubble wrap for her to pop! Continue reading
Well my gorgeous little girl turned 2 recently and it was such a wonderful celebration!
It was our first birthday together as a family, and I felt really quite emotional about it all. I’m so glad that I only missed one birthday (and frankly first birthdays are always a bit weird as the kid has no idea what’s going on anyway). She’s such a gorgeous, lovely, sweet child and I’m so so happy I get to be her mama.
The birthday weekend itself was rather busy and hectic – we had so many people come and visit us, but we both loved every minute of it. Continue reading
We planned a fun day out in London visiting my cousin who has a new baby and also a FANTASTIC exhibition at the Tate Modern (Olafur Eliasson – it’s AMAZING, if you’re in London go see it now!).
It was our first ever train trip together, and I thought I had planned it well – on the 10am train to London, coming back at 2.50pm, on a weekday/normal working day, not school holidays etc. Figured it would be quieter and easier to travel with a small person.
Apparently not – both trains were packed! On the way in I had a seat booked but the reservations system didn’t seem to be working so there was someone in my seat and the train was chock-full, and there was no space for the buggy anyway so I decided to just keep the kid in the buggy and stand in the corridor.
So much for off-peak!
We had agreed to meet at the Tate Modern gallery 11.30am as we needed to have timed tickets to the exhibition, and I’d assumed that half an hour was plenty of time to get from Paddington to Southwark.
However I’ve never done it with a buggy before, and while on the train I started looking at journey planners, trying to work out step-free access and which stations had lifts etc. Suddenly a 15-20min tube ride was apparently going to take 57 minutes, as if you want step-free access you have to take a tube to here, a bus to there, another tube to here, etc. Quite the palaver. Continue reading