Today, on the 7th January, 2020, a judge heard our case, and as there were no final objections or appeals to be lodged, she granted my daughter’s adoption order.
A mere 6 months after I met my gorgeous baby girl for the very first time, I am now officially, legally, her mama.
It was such a monumental moment in both of our lives. and yet also slightly weird and mundane. I got the call while we were at toddler group, her social worker called me as soon as the hearing was over to tell me the good news, then we had a snack and went home for a nap. We celebrated by going to a soft play centre in the afternoon with some friends, and in the evening I did my best to explain to my baby girl that a wise judge said I could be her mama forever and ever, though I don’t think she has really understood any of it!
It’s such a huge, mega thing, and yet we carried on going about our day in a very normal way, mostly I guess because I already am her mama, but it’s been unofficial for the last 6 months.
In some ways this was really just a formality, as nothing about our daily lives will change in the slightest. And yet, she’s going to get an adoption certificate that says I’M her mummy, and she’s going to have MY family name, and I can apply for a passport for her, and all sorts of things. I was able to give her a new middle name (she already had two so I changed the 2nd middle name to a name that I chose for her). In giving her a new name, and a new family name, today she became a little bit more MINE in a way that she wasn’t before. (The books tell me this is called “claiming behaviour” and an important part of attachment, though we hardly need it!).
I still find it so hard to believe it has only been 6 months since she came into my life – it feels like she has been in my life for so much longer than that.
There is still a slew of paperwork to be done in finalising everything, but it’s all over, it’s official, no more waiting, no more bumps (other than the usual mother-daughter bumps) – we are now, and forever, a real, proper family.
It feels amazing, and weird, and lovely, and strange. I’m the happiest mama in the world.