Well once again I thought I might do a round-up of the year, to look back and reflect on, though the end of this year finds me somewhat down in the dumps.

Looking back on some ups and downs, well firstly let’s start with the ups!

The house got insulated and smart vents installed and it was generally less cold, and my heating bills this year have certainly been less than feared as a result. My remortgage was painful but ultimately manageable. We finally got a functional washing machine, and after some gas-leak related drama a new hob too.

My youngest daughter A learned to read this year, which is still somewhat astonishing to me. While she is still slow and plodding along it’s a miracle nonetheless. She has also gotten a lot closer to learning to swim this year, though not quite there, but progress is slowly being made.

I have read some excellent books this year and enjoyed a wide variety of different styles and genres.

We went to Australia this year and had a fantastic holiday visiting family. We were also lucky enough to have a holdiay to Portugal and to France this year, as well as our annual (but damp) camping trip, so we certainly had plenty of holidays! I also got to go to Wimbledon which was fabulous as always!

I had a really fun work trip to Dushanbe in Tajikistan, and also we won an award for an online course I designed! So that was fantastic! Definitely a high point in the year, and a fancy awards dinner in London to celebrate.

The downs:

Looking back through the year, an awful lot of my year was marked by stress and anxiety and exhaustion and tiredness and loneliness. It’s quick a shock to look back and read how much I have actually struggled this year, month after month after month. January Blues, February feeling flat, March – more weight, and so on. I feel as though somehow this current state of exhaustion and burnout has crept up on me but looking back it was there all along, pulling me slowly under determinedly.

My dad got diagnosed with cancer this year, my uncle died, S broke her elbow, and my friend passed away. And our beloved cat Cleo also passed away. Two funerals, the loss of a pet, a few trips to hospital (a cancer scare of my own) and a cancer diagnosis for my dad are not ideal.

I saw a lady get hit by a bus this year, and held her while we waited for the ambulance. Throughout the year I have struggled with loneliness, depression, anxiety, a stroppy and deeply traumatised teenager, as well as the peri-menopause.

I am ending the year signed off work and starting my first round of anti-depressants which is a somewhat sad place to be, but hoping things will improve in the new year.

Normally I would have sent this missive before Christmas but was frankly too damn tired and exhausted to do much of anything by then. Thankfully our Christmas was miraculously calm and lovely and relaxing and everyone was kind to each other and got loads of lovely presents and we genuinely had a wonderful time. Which was a relief!

So we are hoping that all our friends and family out there are well and happy and that 2024 brings us all some light and cheer and goodwill etc.

Happy New year!