Technophobia and the art of computer maintenance


Sunday 12th November 2006

Ok, I realise I just wrote less than a week ago, but you literally will not BELIEVE what happened to me!

Most of you already know about my complete inability to use any kind of technology without having a total meltdown, and my track record currently includes single-handedly (but accicentally) crashing an entire room full of computers not just once, but twice so
far!

However, after my poor laptop, Bob, bit the dust over the summer, I decided to try out one of these new-fangled applemacs that people keep telling me about. Everyone says they are a million times better than pc’s, and so I got one in August, to replace poor Bob (RIP).

I must admit I’ve been loving my new shiny white mac laptop, and it’s been fine until last week when it suddenly refused to turn on.

I tried everything, and finally got it to turn on, but only after a loud scary beeping noise, and I could tell that it clearly wasn’t happy.
My first thought was that it was in a mood with me because after three months I still haven’t named it (I’m having trouble finding a suitable name – suggestions are welcome).

However, after a few days of scary beeping noises I took it to the mac shop to get help.

The technician there was very friendly and knowlegable, and he clearly knew his stuff. I
explained the problem to him, and he said “oh yeah, it’s RSS, don’t worry, you just need some updated software, … blah blah … some big techno-words here… blah blah … not a problem, leave it with me”

Well, I had to ask the dumb, obvious, un-tecchie question,
“What exactly is RSS?”

“Oh, it’s Random Shutdown Syndrome”

…….

WELL OF COURSE IT IS!!!!

So, clearly my technophobia is not in fact just in my head, I am actually cursed by the techno-fairies to forever be locked outside the doorway to technology, standing in the cold snow, shivering and watching through the window at all the happy techno-able people
surfing and USB’ing and DSL’ing and using other acronyms willy-nilly.

BUT SERIOUSLY, I HAVE RANDOM SHUTDOWN SYNDROME!!!

I mean, that’s just not funny.

My poor laptop (insert name here) actually has a syndrome!

Luckily I’m still well under the warranty, so they fixed it for free, and assured me that it wouldn’t happen again, although apparently it’s been a problem with loads of new macs recently.

So, I am now typing this from my newly-placated mac, but I definitely need a name, just in case!

I’m thinking about Fred, but I’m not sure yet.

Sorry to bore you all with that massive outburst, but I mean, come on!

Random.

Shutdown.

Syndrome.

Seriously.

take it easy guys,

loads of love
techno-cursed Maya

xxxx

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