Oh deary deary me. It’s been MONTHS since my last post! I keep drafting them and not getting around to finishing them or posting them, which is terrible – I’m such a bad blogger!

So, reviewing the many drafts that I never posted, and attempting to get them into some form that will be suitable for the public domain, I’ll start with this – a post I drafted back in Jan/Feb ish, when I stopped to reflect on last year’s triumphs and pitfalls…. (Shameful to be only just posting my New Year’s reflections in June though! 😛 )

Jan 2015

As I look back at the past year, I must say that 2014 was a year of big achievements for me, and some pretty major milestones too…

2014 was the year I was published in a book for the first time (Chasing Misery – buy your copy now and nudge me towards getting an actual royalty cheque….)

2014 was the year I appeared live on TV for the first time – hosting the show no less! A nerve-wracking but interesting experience.

2014 was the year that I conquered my fear of the ocean and went snorkelling in quite deep water (at least 5m deep!) – and I was rewarded by seeing a turtle!

In 2014 I worked on 2 humanitarian emergencies overseas – one in the Philippines and one in Iraq/KRI.

2014 was also the year that I achieved minor blogging fame when one of my blog posts went slightly viral – it was all very exciting!

2014 was also the year I took a chance on a guy that I liked. It didn’t pan out into anything relationship-wise, but it’s important to take the leap anyway, and I’m glad that I did – we’re still friends and I didn’t lose anything by trying.

I learned a lot about myself in the last year, and I like to think I became a little bit more self-aware, although I still have a long way to go. Living and working in difficult environments, for extremely long hours, often on top of other people with little privacy, has taught me a lot about my own boundaries and limitations, and I have become acutely aware of the importance of soft skills. Skills like team-building, leadership, decision-making, and just getting along with others when you’re stressed out and exhausted can be invaluable, and I don’t have as many of them as I would like. I always used to think of myself as calm in a crisis, and good at managing stress and working under pressure, and I am discovering that I am not so good at any of those things. My temper is far too short, and when things go wrong I jump to assign blame anywhere but me, and I am extremely defensive and far too emotional. So there are many “lessons learnt” (as we love to say in the sector) to take with me on my next adventures…

2015 so far has been a huge challenge, living in a tough environment with a really complex context, and working with some extremely difficult people. I spent Christmas here alone, and have been really missing my friends and family lately, and sometimes doubting myself and my abilities, but overall really grateful to have so many good friends I can lean on and moan to when I need to vent and explode a bit.

Sometimes it strikes me that the moments when you are at your lowest and most filled with self-doubt are the times when you most need to give yourself a good shake and be proud of the things you did manage to do right, be they big or small….

So it seemed like the perfect moment to stop and take stock of all the good things, because sometimes you can’t see the wood for the trees…