Sometimes I genuinely believe my life should be a sitcom. Someone should just film me at all times and capture the moments of hilarity, Jeremy Beadle-style…
Here’s how my afternoon went down:
I worked out really hard at my aerobics class after work, and then Clarissa and I cycled all the way home – and I even turned right on a mini-roundabout without having to get off and push! Road-cycling badge achieved. I am extremely proud of myself.
I came home and decided to treat my tired, sore, sweaty muscles to a bath. I love baths, but I almost never have them, because frankly if you don’t have the time for music, bubbles, wine, exfoliation, foot scrubs and a good book, then you may as well just have a shower as far as I’m concerned. Baths are both sacred and extremely ritualistic in Maya’s world.
So there I was, in my lovely, hot, relaxing bath,
Music – Jack Johnson (I decided to go old school)
Book – Ayoade on Ayoade (It’s hilariously weird, and makes perfect bath-time reading)
The best Body Scrub in the world – From an amazing care package that my dear friend sent me years ago. I think she may have made it herself and it’s AMAZING.
When I stepped out of the bath, I felt more relaxed than I have in weeks. I felt all soft and clean and relaxed and scrubbed and delicious.
I drifted downstairs humming along to Jack Johnson, went to feed the cats, and then STEPPED IN A PILE OF CAT SICK.
It was camouflaged, as apparently regurgitated cat biscuits are the exact same colour as my oak floorboards.
Nothing has ever ruined a post-bath relaxation high faster. I no longer felt all clean, and frankly, my newly-scrubbed feet felt pretty violated.
To add insult to injury, I had LITERALLY only just forgiven the cats for weeing on my new sofa (apparently they feel the need to punish me when I go away on work trips).
I’m attempting to think of a suitable punishment, and may have to resort to publicly shaming them on social media.
Had we but world enough and time... 
LOL!!! toooo funny. Cat sick is the worst to step in. Bella is a barfer, every few weeks she’ll leave us a surprise to clean up.
Just today, we heard Bella doing the retching sound, ran out to find her, and she had run into her cat box and threw up IN the box! We were like awww good kitty, thanks for not doing it on the carpet. (She is usually not this thoughtful).
A few months back, in the middle of the night, I woke up and heard her making the retching sounds again. In my head I was like “oh, maybe this is a dream, maybe if I don’t do anything it’s not real…” then a few moments later, Eric wakes up with an almighty SCREAM. “AAARRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!” really loudly, sitting bolt upright. My first thought is he is reacting to the same sound I heard. “It’s okay baby,” I said, “it’s just the cat, I think she threw up.” Eric looks over and says “she threw up ON MY FOOT!” ahahahahahaha. He had kicked his leg out from under the covers because his feet got hot, and the cat decided that was as good a place as any to barf. Omg I died laughing tho, even tho it was 3am. I can’t believe she barfed right on his foot.
I LOVE baths. and our litter box is in the bathroom with the tub. so if I want a bath I must first clean out the litter box or haul it out of the room (which is too much work I just clean it and put the cat flap back on). Baths are the best thing in the world. I love, love, love baths. And I completely agree, it’s a ritual, sacred and beautiful, and if I can’t have all my smelly good bath salts and scrubs, candles, music and a book, then why bother.
Kickass on the aerobic workouts!!! and for riding your bike! I am so lazy I need to ride my bike more. I work 2 miles away, it’s a straight shot with bike paths…. no more excuses tho, soon as the weather warms up and the snow melts I am doing it! 🙂