Well once again I thought I might do a round-up of the year, to look back and reflect on, though the end of this year finds me somewhat down in the dumps.

Looking back on some ups and downs, well firstly let’s start with the ups!

A lovely trip to see my sister in Wales and be pampered at the spa was a great way to start the month! Massage and lunch and steam rooms and saunas – and an ENTIRE HOUR SITTING READING MY BOOK WITHOUT ANYONE YELLING AT ME!

It was basically heaven, so thanks to my sister for a brilliant early Xmas present!

Work was very hectic and busy trying to wrap up everything before xmas. Then we were striking and picketing and demanding justice, and wrapping presents and decorating the tree and various pre-Christmas admin jobs.

And a very sad and subdued trip to Scotland for my friend’s funeral. My mum came to babysit the girls for a few nights so I could get up to Scotland and back for the funeral. A sad trip but I managed to stay with an old Uni friend up there and it was nice to see them.

Then I got exhausted and overwhelmed and miserable and was signed off work for a while to try and sort my mess of a life out. It has all been a bit much and I’m struggling to cope with anything at all really.

So we did xmas things in a low key way this year, went to a panto, saw some friends, ate some mince pies, bumbled about quietly.

And actually it was a really wonderful Christmas – it was quiet and everyone was pleasant and kind to each other and no-one shouted. We all relaxed and caught up on sleep and got lovely presents and had a truly lovely time.

Then we went up to my mum’s for a few days over new year and had a nice relaxing time up there. All in all it was a nice end to the year, in spite of being a bit hectic and exhausted and worn out by the end of term!

Hoping 2024 brings us some fresh starts and calmer, happier lives in general.

So, we have indeed put our house on the market, and have received an offer (currently still attempting to negotiate price but it’s not bad given the market at the moment).

However, sadly we have ruled out France as an option. I am a bit gutted as I was really excited about it but have realised that my older daughter simply won’t cope with a change of that scale and magnitude and so it just isn’t going to work for us.

However, this leaves us with a new dilemma – where to move next?

As my job is fully remote it leaves us with almost too much choice. In the old days you would move somewhere within a radius of your job, but now I can literally go anywhere. So where to choose?

Obviously key indicators here would be proximity to some sort of support network, and ideally cheaper houses, preferably a nicer, smaller place with smaller, nicer schools. Realistically most places are generally either nicer or cheaper but rarely both!

Over half term we went on a bit of a tour of possible places to live. Firstly up to my mum’s in Yorkshire, where we looked at a very nice house that is definitely much cheaper than our house, and pretty spacious (though limited garden). The area is nice, and while the secondary school is fairly big it’s a nice neighbourhood.

The house was right behind my mum’s house and I could certainly see the benefits of living so close to my mum! I was very tempted to put in an offer but held off, mainly as I wasn’t quite ready to commit, and deep down I’m just not sure it’s where I want to live long-term.

We also visited Norwich where a friend of mine has recently moved and houses are also much cheaper than here, and looked at a nice house there, but again, I didn’t really feel massively like it was where I want to be.

We also went to stay with another of my cousins, who has weirdly recently moved to the exact village where I grew up as a child. I had forgotten just how lovely it is there. It’s either a large village or a small town depending on how one classifies these things, but it has a grocery store, post office, small fire station, doctor’s, library, fish and chip shop, about 5 pubs (obviously) and a primary school. Unusually for a village it also has a small secondary school, which is very appealing. Most small villages feed into much bigger comprehensives in the nearest town, but this village bucks that trend and has it’s own secondary school (it only goes up to 16 however, no 6th form currently).

It also has a large country park which my siblings and I spent many happy years roaming about in. It’s lovely and small and in the countryside, and has a lot going for it.

Even though I haven’t been back there for decades, I felt instantly at home, and comfortable there. I know every curve and every bend of every path and road, and it all came flooding back so clearly. I’ve always been more of a wanderer and adventurer, but it felt really very nice to go home. And it really did feel like home.

Recently things at home have been complicated and chaotic and really really hard, and I feel a really strong pull to move somewhere safe and comforting and familiar. (I also feel a really strong pull to run away from it all to somewhere like France but frankly our problems are going to follow us wherever we go and we have had to rule out the more exotic options for now).

Obviously there can be bullies anywhere, in any school. but a generally smaller school with a more rural intake seems like it might help, and I would hope there would be fewer stabbings and murders and so on there.

So I am taking the girls back in a couple of weeks to look at houses and explore the village a bit. While houses there are certainly not as cheap as they are in France or Yorkshire, and I won’t be mortgage free, I can hopefully end up with a decent chunk of leftover money to do renovations, or install solar panels to reduce my bills, or pay off a smaller chunk of mortgage. I may even be able to finally have a pottery wheel and a kiln and get back to my favourite hobby if I’m lucky!

While looking at houses idly in the area, nothing was really jumping out at me, until one house came onto the market that was PERFECT. I had to hold off on putting an offer in INSTANTLY as I was very tempted but felt I ought to at least see the place properly in person first! So I took the girls on an impromptu road trip and we went to see the house and show them both around.

We LOVED it and immediately put in an offer, but sadly while this was happening our potential buyer withdrew their offer so we ended up back at square one, but hoping it will still work out in the end! We are considering options like dropping the price further and bumping my advert up the rightmove listings etc.

Still really hoping we can get that house but we’ll see….

So, recently something came up.

I had to have a medical for work, in order to travel to Tajikistan, and during the medical, I had a breast exam. And the doctor found a lump.

So after a fun and hectic summer we settled back into our routines.

The start of school was tough – anxiety about new classes and new teachers meant crappy behaviour at home. All of a sudden the new school uniform that fit just fine when we tried it on in the shop in July was too big and not right, and I bought the wrong kind of sweetcorn, and so on.

There was a lot of yelling at me in general!

But things settled down eventually and the girls got back into their routines and I went back to work.

I had some great news at work that a course I worked on for over a year was shortlisted for two awards which was really great so I was very pleased with myself! And I continued to struggle with my manager who I find patronising and irritating. But I also got an interview for a really good job (I won’t get it but being shortlisted for interview was exciting!).

We have spent most of September weighing up whether or not we should move to France (see my other post on this), and are now considering where else we might move to if it’s not France.

I have a lot of things to consider in all corners!