Things not to do in maths…

Sunday 9th April 2006
Hello!
Things are getting better, my class is coming around under my iron fist and after a few days of being really evil and dishing out detentions to the whole class, they’re finally learning to behave themselves.
Well, except these four boys today of course….
I was teaching maths (I know, me, teaching maths!), and while we were learning about sequencing and how to EXPLAIN our answers (the kids have serious problems with that part), I noticed these four boys with the most unbelievably guilty expressions, and their hands were all hidden under the table. So, of course I asked them what they thought they were doing and told them to put their hands on the desk.
They had, of course, been trying to superglue their fingers together “to see if it worked”.
The sheer stupidity of eight year old boys astounds me sometimes!
Luckily for them, it turned out not to be real superglue, just some crap budget knock-off superglue, so it did wash off, (thank god), but honestly!
I had to write in the detention book the reason for detention, and I felt so silly writing “trying to superglue themselves together during maths”. I wish I could have just written “mind-boggling stupidity” in instead!!
Ah well, I have no doubt that the boys in my class will keep me amused with endlessly stupid antics to fill my emails with over the next year!
In fact, another hilarious anecdote springs to mind!
I was collecting in homework the other day, and this kid comes up and tells me he didn’t do his. I asked him why not, and he says, with a dead straight face, “Miss, my maid took too long doing my sister’s homework so she didn’t have time to do mine.”
I almost pissed myself laughing, and then realised he was serious!
I had to explain very carefully that whatever else the maids are for in their house, doing homework is not one of them!!
Sadly, that’s a bit of a problem over here, as the Kuwaiti’s are all just rolling in money, (and drowning in oil – they literally can’t pump it fast enough!! And they’ve just discovered gas as well!), and their maids do everything for them. The parents have very little involvement in the raising of their kids, but sadly the maids have no power to discipline the children, and the parents most often treat the “help” like dirt, mostly because they’re Filipino, or Tibetan or Nepali. Unfortunately the kids watch the way their parents treat the maids, and follow suit, ordering them about like slaves, and this tends to follow them into the classroom. Most of the kids see us teachers as just someone else being paid to look after them (which is exactly what we are to the parents anyway), and so treat us with about as much respect as the maids!!
I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the rudeness of some of these kids, and am setting about teaching them how to respect their teacher properly!
It’s gonna be tough, but I’ll get there!!
Everything else is going fine too, I went to a Bulgarian dinner in honour of spring, and met a really hot guy called Chris who asked me out. The next day we went to the art gallery, where his sister had an exhibition on. I was a bit intimidated about meeting his sister on a first date, but then it got worse when we got there and I realised his mum and dad were there too!!!
His sister and mum were lovely, (I didn’t really talk to his dad a lot), but his mum was a bit much. I kept explaining that we had just met the night before, and she’s nodding and smiling with this horrible glazed look, and I could literally SEE her planning the wedding and buying clothes for her grandkids!!!
Then she gave me her home number, and mobile, and work number, pager, and fax number “just in case” I should want to call her for any reason!
Of course I wouldn’t let a psychotic family put me off, except we got back to his place, and he got all nervous and hyperactive, bouncing around the house, completely unable to sit still at all, and then started making a lot of quite racist comments about Arabs and things.
So, yet again a seemingly normal guy turns out to be a complete weirdo on yet another unbelievably uncomfortable date!!
I think I’m going to need a full psychiatric assessment from prospective candidates before agreeing to any more dates!!
Anyhoo, after only three weeks at work, we’ve got our spring break coming up at the end of this week, so I shall be jetting off to Sri Lanka with Betty and Bryn for a week of beaches, booze and baby elephants!! It’s a hard life eh?
laters
love superglue super-maya
xxx

 

First impressions

Monday 27th March 2006

Hey everyone,
Well, I’ve been here almost a week now, so I thought I’d give you all an update!
So far it’s been pretty good, the weather is really nice, only getting up to about 29 or 30 so far, but really dry so it’s not so bad.
Apparently my taxi driver told me in the summer it can get up to 50 degrees, but the government won’t allow the weather stations to ever report the temperature as higher than 49 because if they report the temp as 50, they have to give everyone a day off work or something. So the weather is only ever “officially” 49 degrees in summer!!

As I said before, my flat is LOVELY – I’ve added a nice picture of our front room for you, and a picture of the cool bombed out building across the street – to the left of the building is our school, so it’s dead close to walk to. We also have a nice balcony, and all
the furniture’s new and stuff.
There’s a mosque across the street from my bedroom, so we get to hear the call to prayer broadcast from the loudspeaker five times a day. Apparently the 5am one wakes up almost everyone in the building, but they say you get used to it, and frankly I sleep so deeply I haven’t heard it once!!

Our entire building is owned by the school, so all sixteen apartments are inhabited by teachers at our school. Which is cosy.
Anna (my flatmate) is still really nice, and we get on well, so hopefully that won’t change any time soon!!
School is really really busy, as I’ve walked in at the end of term during exams and reports, and my class haven’t done half the material on the exams (their teacher obviously stopped caring completely while she was planning her dodgy escape, so hasn’t taught them
much). As for my class, there’s sixteen kids, all about 8 ish, fairly unruly, although it’s not all
their fault – I’m the third teacher they’ve had this year after all!! There’s a couple of little horrors, and they are all compulsive liars, which is hard to deal with sometimes!

Other than that the school is pretty good, they have a ratio of about a third primary, a third secondary and a third is special needs, which covers just about everything from dwarfism to down’s syndrome and lots of other disabilities. All the staff have been really friendly and helpful, and are mostly just super glad that I’m here at all!!

The staff are quite multi-national, ranging from a healthy number of Brits and Canadians, to the Turkish IT guy, lots of Arabic staff, Zofia (who’s Polish and incredibly racist!) who teaches the other year three class, and Lourka, the Bulgarian librarian who has the most awesome accent ever! She guards the library with a very fierce hand (I’m constantly amazed that fire doesn’t actually come out of her mouth!), but she is really quite nice, and her cousin Zarko (also Bulgarian) is the Lord of Everything.
His position in the school I’m not so clear on, but if you need anything photocopied, you have to give it to him, and he may or may not do it within 24 hours.
He’s also the guy to go to if you want your air conditioning fixed, anything in your flat fixed or replaced, and holds all the keys to everywhere!!!

I’d better stop there, cos I keep thinking of more stuff to say but I don’t want you guys to die of random computer-related deaths before the next update (which I may well start writing now so it’ll be done by next week!!).

By the way, I do have a phone line installed, but I can’t make any outgoing calls outside of Kuwait at all. However I can still recieve them if anyone fancies calling me!!

take care everyone!!
lots of love
“who knew I could get up at 6am??” Maya
xxx

My new living room

The bombed-out building opposite my flat in Hawally

Kuwait! Land of oil and sand!

Saturday 18th March 2006

I’m here!!
It was a very long flight and I’m somehow still awake twelve hours later, but I’m safe and sound, and it’s sooo weird being here!!
It’s hot, but really dry, which is a nice break from the humidity in Sydney, and my apartment is AMAZING!!!!!!
I’m sharing with a girl called Anna, who’s Canadian, very friendly, and also very clean, and the flat is soooo nice – all new and shiny!!
It’s lovely to see Betty and Bryn, who I haven’t seen for almost two years, and the school is HUGE too. I start teaching tomorrow (our weekends are Thursday and
Friday) but my timetable on Sunday is pretty laid back – I only teach three classes and I have four free periods while the kids learn Arabic and the Koran etc.

Anyway, I won’t write any more just now, as I’m about to fall over and crash, and even if I don’t Bryn’s just cracked open a bottle of their home brew wine to celebrate my arrival, so I’m sure that’ll knock me over!!
heehee!!
later dudes
love
globe-trotting-arab-Maya
xxxxx

It’s all go!

Wednesday 8th March 2006

Hello hello!
Time for another update!
Well, basically I had an interview a couple of weeks ago about the job in Kuwait, which I got (yay!!) for September.
Then I had an email on Monday asking if I could come right away as one of their teachers left, so I should be off next week hopefully!!

The job is teaching primary, Year 3 first I think, and then in September, probably Year 2.
I’ll have to figure out the syllabus, and work out how to teach things like numeracy, but I’m sure I’ll get there. The school follow the British curriculum, so thats a big help. The money is awesome, and they’ll pay my rent, bills, health insurance, and it’s all tax-free too!!
I love my life sometimes. Continue reading

Fat teacher and the evil stepmother

Tuesday 14th February 2006

Hello hello!

It must be time for another huge email from me, so here we go!
I’m sad to say that my extended holiday has taken a nasty turn – I’m getting fat!
I’ve been here two months, have put on three kilos, and my poor jeans fiinally gave up the struggle to get around my ever-expanding thighs and split.
A memorial service will be held next tuesday, no flowers please.

Anyway, in light of these developments, I finally took the plunge and joined the mass of people known as “exercisers”.

I joined a gym. Continue reading

Free! Free at last! Mwah ha ha haaaaa!

Tuesday 31st January 2006

My course is finally over !!

It was exhausting, and very very hard, and I won’t find out until Friday if I passed of not, but thank god its over!!!

The teaching part was ok, I learned all about phrasal verbs, functional language, the weak schwa, and many many more fascinating parts of the English language too exciting to talk about!
It was basically all ok in the end, although I did have a really bizarre lesson which, of course I am about to describe to you in full detail! Continue reading

2006: A New Chapter…

Wednesday 11th January 2006

Hello hello!!
Happy New Year!!
Time for another enormous, mammoth, ma-hu-ssive email from Maya!
Cups of tea at the ready!

My Christmas was really lovely, I got tons of gorgeous pressies, played with my nephews on the beach and generally did things that will make you all so jealous I won’t even mention them!
New Year was even better, I went down to Tasmania to stay with my friend Steve. Tassie was beautiful – Hobart is such a nice city, a really cute and quaint kinda place!! Continue reading