“I’m here to rescue you”

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Friday 4th November 2005
Hey guys,
Ok, so I had a really hectic but really fun Halloween. School was a nightmare of last minute organising and planning, but it all came off really well, and we all had a blast.
On Saturday before Halloween, me and the girls got all dressed up to go out in Seoul, and it was really fun.
Finding a costume was hard, because there aren’t many costume shops here, and they don’t have any second hand shops either! Of course, I had already decided what I was gonna go as months ago – I mean anyone who’s ever gotten a free Jedi lightsaber spoon in their Frosties really doesn’t have a choice!!

It’s Biblical.

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Wednesday 26th October 2005
Ok, so I’ve had a weird couple of weeks, prepare for a slightly frustrated onslaught!!
I’ve had my fabulous haircut – pictures attached, fear not, and me and the girls went out on the town in Seoul to celebrate!
I’ll admit I was looking exceptionally ravishing, so that may explain the number of men that kept hitting on us, but sadly most of them were far too young or completely weird!
There were an awful lot of young American military lads out and about, and don’t get me wrong, I’ve met tons of lovely, intelligent Americans, but all the guys that came over to our table were under twenty and seemed to think that “WOOHOO!!! BEER!!!” was a good pick-up line.
That and they were so excited about the beer they kept spilling it down my back (although thank god they missed my lovely hair!
Another guy came over, asked me my name, and then deliberately dropped my lighter into my drink and asked me if I was gonna slap him! (I’m serious! He really did that!!). So of course I slapped him, and then told him to bugger off, but it didn’t have too much effect as he enjoyed getting slapped far too much!

The one with the really nice mullet…

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Thursday 13 October 2005
Hello hello,
Well, I’ve now been in Korea for a whole year, Cal is finally leaving on Saturday (yay!!), and I’m entering my last couple of months here before I move on to Australia, the next stop on my world tour!
As I was walking to my Hapkido class the other day a girl walked past me, and my first thought was “Wow, that’s a really nice mullet!”, which was immediately followed by “Oh my god I’ve been here too long!!”
 (n.b. – any of you oldies who don’t know what a mullet is, ask your kids!) Continue reading →

When dictionaries go wrong…

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Monday 26th September 2005
Hello all,
I thought I’d dedicate this email to the fabulous diversity of the English language, because since becoming a teacher I have discovered some wonderful things about it!
However, before I start I should point out that while I find a lot of these things really funny, many of you will actually just be bored, because frankly I have a pretty odd sense of humour.
(Those of you who’ve ever said “A brown stick? That is the WORST joke ever Maya!!” should probably stop reading now!!)
Firstly, dictionaries should only ever be used under supervision, as things can get extremely interesting otherwise! We quite often come across kids that have their own English dictionaries at home, and you can usually spot which kids have tried to spice up their diaries by writing things like “Sunday is good. I my friend computer game and funny. Is meticulous ate rice.” etc. Continue reading →

Me and Johnny…

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 Tuesday 6 September 2005

Hi guys,

Am overdue for an update, but I’m afraid life has been fairly mundane recently, so there really isn’t much to report!

Betty, one of our Korean teachers has been ill, so we’ve all had extra classes to cover, and then there’s exams, and marking and all sorts of boring stuff like that – although Cal did have another classic moment last week! He’d watched me trying to make and photocopy all of my exams for the kids all week, and I’d ranted and raved because our ancient photocopier breaks down every fifth copy, which requires the receptionist to call out the repair guy etc. Anyway, after a week of me going “The fucking photocopier’s buggered again!!!!” I had finally got all my exams done in the nick of time, and when exam day rolls around, I strolled casually into the office to find Cal going “You won’t believe the bloody photocopier’s broken!!! I can’t get my exams done!!” Hmmm, well Cal, actually I’ve done all mine, so good luck with that!!

God I love being smug! Continue reading →

The wonderful world of tax evasion!

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Friday 19th August 2005
Hello my cheeky wee monkeys!!
About time I did another update, and my plans have changed so much in the last month or so I’m almost afraid to even put down a provisional plan in writing in case it all changes again!

However, it seems only fair to let you all know my new plans at the moment, especially as so many of you were so helpful with my tax questions! My contract finishes here in December, and I’m planning to go to Australia for xmas, and I was originally going to head home around mid-January. However, a number of circumstances, primarily tax-related have forced me to change my plans! Basically unless I stay out of the country until April, I’ll have to pay lots of tax on my overseas income and stuff. There’s some other stuff too but thats the gist of it, so I’m planning to stay on in Oz for a few extra months and do my CELTA course, get a bar job or something, and then head home around mid-April or May-ish. That way I can happily evade my taxes in a slightly more legal sense!!

Ah, the sweet serenity of the mountains!

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Thursday 4th August 2005
Hello hello!
Aren’t you people lucky getting all these emails from me?
I’m back from my little mini-holiday and already straight back into the swing of things at work, summer hols are over and all that jazz (yay – more reports and exams coming up!!).
My friend Suzie and I went up to Songnisan Mountain on Friday morning, to visit a small town next to Popchusa temple. It was really lovely, sunny, hot and peaceful and quiet – I’ve been in this city for so long I was shocked to discover how much I miss grass and trees and the smell of clean air!!
There was a lovely little mountain stream running through the town, only a couple of feet deep, but lovely and cold, so naturally we had to go paddling (I attempted to swim but only by lying down flat could I get my whole body under the water!) I’ve included a picture of me all chuffed with myself in the water, and also another picture of the Buddha statue at the temple, which was ENORMOUS!!!! Continue reading →

P.S.

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Thursday 28th July 2005
Hey,
I am feeling much better now, and have almost fully recovered. I have narrowed the causes of my sudden illness down to either:
a) Food poisoning
b) Heatstroke
c) Dehydration
d) Exhaustion
e) The dodgy tap water at the folk village
f) A bug I caught from one of the kids
or
g) All of the above!!!
I’m thinking option g is most likely!! Continue reading →

Camping and Puking…

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Monday, 25 July 2005
Hey guys,
I know I’m fairly overdue for an email, but things have been super-busy at school over the last couple of weeks, so I haven’t had much time to stop and write.
On Friday we took 78 kids and eight members of staff  to the Korean Folk Village for a two day camping trip. It was 35 degrees outside, and we very swiftly discovered that there are no drinking fountains there, just kiosks where you can buy a small water bottle for an extortionate amount!
We managed to collect a bunch of juice bottles from the kids’ lunchboxes and find a tap to keep filling them up, but it was a bit touch and go for a while!
Anyhow, we had a really great time, despite the fact that I’ve never sweated that much in my entire life, and we got to do loads of fun stuff like dye our own hankies with natural dyes, make pottery, do archery, go swimming (thank god!!), and make straw ropes and stuff.
We had a campfire in the evening and a dance competition etc. Continue reading →

The rain, oh the rain

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Friday 1st July 2005
Well monsoon has begun, and it’s hot and wet. Really hot and really wet.
The heat has intensified the rotting garbage/backed up sewage aroma out in the street, and the heavy, dense, wet, hot, permanent fog has gone a nasty dirty polluted grey, like having your head wrapped in hot dirty wet cotton wool as you walk down the street.
In fact, when you throw in the nasty smell, leaving my apartment is very much like walking out of a door straight into a hot sweaty arse.
Mmmm, pleasant.
Anyhow, I shot bolt upright in bed last night when a bomb went off and the building shook, and as I regained full alertness and waited for the house to fall down, I realised that there was a big fuck-off thunderstorm going on, and in fact, no bomb. It was quite seriously the loudest thunder crack I have ever heard in my life, and apparently the storm was localised over my bedroom! Continue reading →